Confidence and Self-esteem

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done, But he with a chuckle replied
’Maybe it couldn’t, but he would be one who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried’.
So he buckled right in, with the trace of a grin on his face. If he worried he hid it. 
He started to sing as he tackled the thing that couldn’t be done, and he did it. 
– E A Guest

Is something stopping you from trying new things?

effects of grief, stages of grief, anger, shock, denial, pain and guilt,  remorse, angst, fear, dread, depression, reflection, loneliness, isolation, despair, concern, acceptance, hope

You’re right this is a closed question: there are only two possible answers – yes, or no, and both of them really depend upon your level of self-esteem. 

Esteem, comes from the Latin word to estimate and is the standard mechanism that is used to estimate our selves and our abilities, so it follows that those with low self esteem will have difficulty in trying something new.  So how do you know if you have low self esteem? 

The following are aspects of low self esteem:

  • Social withdrawal 
  • Anxiety and emotional turmoil
  • Lack of social skills and self confidence. Depression and/or bouts of sadness
  • Eating disorders 
Unwillingness, or inability to accept compliments
  • An Inability to see yourself ‘squarely’ – to be fair to yourself
  • Exaggerating the negative
  • Exaggerated concern over what other people think
  • Self neglect
  • Treating yourself badly but NOT other people
  • Worrying whether you have treated others badly
  • Reluctance to take on challenges
  • Reluctance to trust your own opinion
  • Low expectations of life for yourself
  • Do any of the above sound familiar? 

 Do you need help to boost your self esteem?   Contact me now to find out how I can help you and to claim your free consultation. christine@psychologicalsolutionsforme.com 

 

Do you want to work on it on your own?  If so there are lots of techniques for self-help.  

Whichever you decide to use the following tips should help!

You should build on solid foundations such as

  1. The need to give and receive attention – this can include pets as well as family and friends.
  1. Taking care of both your mind and body – pamper yourself when you need to and take time out to have fun.
  1. Having purpose and goals in your life.  These provide structure and help you measure yourself.
  1. Making something using your skills for creativity and stimulation.
  1. The need for intimacy and connection – we all need a hug sometimes.
  1. Discipline – sense of control – very often it’s the feeling of being out of control that cause issues.
  1. The need for a sense of safety and security – if your level of income is low and your home is at risk you lose your safety net and will feel at risk.  Ask for help.

If low self esteem is not the issue; there could be a number of things that stop you trying something new. 

You may feel:

Fear: of the unknown: who’s going to be there?

       of failure – will I be able to learn, perhaps I shouldn’t chance it

       of making yourself look a fool  

       of getting lost What if I cant find the venue  

       of the facilitator/teacher – what will they be like – will they like me  

      of not being able to communicate – My Spanish is awful will I be able to understand/make  myself understood

Other things to people ask themselves:

Can I find someone to go with?

Am I going to make myself look really stupid?

What about my learning style…. will I be able to learn?

What if it turns out to be different to what I expected – so don’t go and then and wonder what you’re missing.

Be clear about what you want to do: set yourself goals.  Why do you want to do it? 

Excel – you need to find something that in time you will be really good at.  So what is holding you back?  What are the limiting factors that are stopping you?  If you really don’t know try the following technique.  Take a deep breath hold it for as long as its comfortable and then blow it out thoroughly, breathing out all of your tension; take another deep breath and repeat then take a third deep breath – you will find yourself entering a different state – one of relaxation – now let your mind run free and don’t concentrate too hard on what it is you want to know.  The answer will just pop into your head.

Go on take a deep breath and contact me today.  You are just one step away from success: christine@psychologicalsolutionsforme.com 


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